Gloria, is this you . . ?

When I got the phone call from Sky Arts to say that I’d made it through to the heats, I honestly thought that my dear friend Gloria was having a bit of a joke . . . I entered the competition on a whim, daring myself to be considered and I wondered whether the universe might just throw me a bone. You see, this was and is my favourite arts programme and I was going to be on it, meet the esteemed judges and kowtow to all their wisdom. After some reassurance that the caller was kosher, I put the phone down and my world changed.

I experienced such a mixture of emotions in the months leading up to the filming. Am I good enough?! I am good enough! I’m not good enough . . . I tried to analyse what it was that the judges had seen in my submission painting. Could I do ‘it’ again? Whatever ‘it’ was.

My submission painting of the River Erme in South Devon

The day before filming, my husband Sasha and I drove to an air b&b near the location still not knowing what the view would be for the day itself. I hardly slept because of the excitment but I had so much adrenalyn, nothing was going to dampen the day . . . except for the continuous torrential rain of course!

Call time was 7am. Driving in the early morning drizzle, the sat nav led us through a rather stately entrance where I saw our painting pods set up in front of the glorious Herstmonceux Science Observatory. I think i deafened Sasha by shouting with excitement (that it wasn’t the castle round the corner, no offense). My eyes feasted on the dusty turqouise tainted copper domes and big moody skies. It had a slight feel of alien invasion about it! But not only that . . . what were these magnificent giant shiny balls??! Later on, I discovered that they were part of an art installation, aptly depicting our solar system. On closer inspection and after a gentle flick, I realised with a sinking feeling that ‘shiney’ wasn’t exactly my forté!

At the risk of sounding terribly British by mentioning the weather again, the rain and ominous dark clouds did play a huge part during the day. I was far too happy and nervous (or was it excitement) to care about it; I was also sheltered by the pod, but I really felt for the incredibly dedicated and cohesive team buzzing busily around us. The weather was certainly a character not to be ignored so I tried to evoke a sense of ‘soggy’ in my painting(s).

Having my chat with judge, Tai Shan Schierenberg was really fun. Like a –did that really happen– kind of fun. When you meet someone who’s work you respect and admire so much, you never really know if your brain and mouth will connect to say anything of value. Thank goodness Sasha took some snaps . . . I think the picture says it all!

Meeting the other artists was like absorbing sunshine into the soul. People who were just as nervous, just as excited and just as grateful to have a chance to learn and get feedback from the day. It was like a little secret club that had met for the first time. Our vulnerability brought us together.

Although it only took one day of my life, the impact of taking part in Sky Arts Landscape Artist of the Year has changed my perspective permanently. Since filming for the show, I’ve started to hire studio space in order to pursue my ambition of painting as a full time career. Being filmed doing something so personal, challenging and joyful, has taught me more about myself than technique, composition or anything else . . . I was always good enough. Thank you Sky Arts, I’ll cherish the experience for ever.